Entropy
by See Jane Write
Summary: Chaos ensues after one of the staff is rushed to the ER after a car accident. Rating's for safety issues.
1. Chapter One

Entropy

Disclaimer: I tragically do not own any of these characters…

"What have we got here?" Susan Lewis asked in a rushed voice as two EMTs began rushing in a patient. Few of the patient's bones were bending at awkward angles and blood was slowly dripping out from various parts of his body.

"Twenty-year-old male who was in a car accident and most likely was driving under the influence of some kind of alcoholic beverage," the first EMT answered quickly. "Two more are on their way."

Susan nodded as she took in the information. She sighed, knowing it was definitely time for her to get into "boss" mode. "Luka, Neela, Sam," she called loudly.

Within seconds the three of them appeared in front of her and waited for further instruction.

"Take this patient," Susan ordered. Sam and Luka nodded as they took the patient away. Neela stood there for a second before following.

"Pratt, Abby," Susan called out again, "I want the two of you on the next one that comes in." As soon as the words left her mouth, the next patient-female and in better condition than the first- came on in. Pratt nodded as he began taking her away.

"Um, Dr. Lewis?" Neela interrupted hesitantly as she turned back around to face her employer.

Susan sighed heavily. "What?" she asked in annoyance.

"Abby's not here," Neela admitted.

"Well then where the hell is she?" Susan asked irritably.

"I-I don't know," Neela began softly. "But she's not here."

Ray nodded. "Girl finds me too intimidating. Just can't handle the fact that I'm better than she is."

"Shut up, Ray," Susan groaned. "And you and Carter take the last patient. Neela, back to yours," Susan commanded.

Neela watched in shock as the last patient was wheeled into the emergency room. The patient was female and a little on the thin side. Her hair was blond, though her bangs and the hair near her face was partially soaked in blood oozing out from a deep cut on the woman's forehead. Her face was barely recognizable beneath the swelling and bruises, but Neela knew exactly who it was. "Um, Dr. Lewis?" she began timidly.

"What is it now, Neela?" Susan asked as she spun around to face the woman.

Neela gestured down at the unconscious body with her left hand. "I found Abby."


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: I still don't own these characters. And I'm not a doctor, so forgive me if the medical jargon's incorrect.

Chapter Two

"Oh god," Carter began as he approached the gurney. "What happened here?" His face flushed with anger as he looked around at the remaining hospital staff, mainly Susan, Ray, and the EMTs. "I need to know! What happened here?" he demanded strongly.

"She was in a car accident," the first EMT whispered softly. "Hit by a drunk driver."

"Come on," Ray began as he took hold of one side of the gurney. "Let's get her down to trauma one."

Carter nodded in agreement as he took hold of the other side of the gurney and followed Ray down the hall. His face paled in fear as he examined the rest of Abby's body. Her right shoulder was obviously dislocated from the rest of her body but that was not the part that frightened him. Surely he could repair that. He was not fully convinced that he, or any other doctor for that matter, could be able to repair the damage from several large and deep gashes on the lower portion of his Abby's stomach. The shirt above the wounds was soaked crimson.

Carter reached down and grasped Abby's uninjured left hand in his, holding onto it tightly in fear that if he let go, then he would loose her. "Come on, Abby," he whispered as Ray helped move her into the trauma room. "Come on, you're a fighter. You can beat this."

"Not if she doesn't get medical attention," Ray muttered as he slipped gloves over his hands. "CBC's down. She'll need a transfusion or something."

"Could you?" Carter asked as he began to attempt at stopping the blood from escaping. "I'd like to be with her as much as I can."

Ray nodded in an unusual feeling of sympathy. "No problem," he answered as he walked over towards on of the tables.

Carter gave a very small grateful smile to Ray before continuing his efforts to help Abby. The blood coming out from her lower stomach was clotting fairly well by this point, a fact that he was very pleased with.

Ray gently stuck the larger needle into Abby's left arm as to transport blood to her body as quickly as possible. He held the bag with the blood slightly above her to help the blood flow at a fast pace.

"You're doing great," Carter whispered as he gently kissed Abby's left hand. Her skin, at least what he could see of her non-bruise covered skin, was still very pale, but he was hoping that would go away. He glanced down at her stomach injuries, frowning slightly.

"She'll need surgery," Susan noted as she walked into the room, a few nurses in tow. The nurse closest to the phone nodded and walked over, calling the OR.

Carter again glanced down at Abby. The wounds on her lower stomach were not bleeding as profusely, he noted with a slight feeling of relief. For the most part they had stopped bleeding altogether. He still could not take his chances. This was not just some random person in a car accident; this was Abby.

Before Carter had a chance to react, the continuing beeping from her heart monitor stopped. The line went flat and Carter could no longer see Abby's chest moving slightly up and down to signify breathing. "No!" he yelled loudly, attracting everyone's attention.


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

"Don't just stand there!" Carter yelled as he kept hearing the droning sound of the steady beep. There were only a few precious minutes to do anything that would bring his Abby back to him. "Do something!" he added while gesturing empathically down at Abby.

Susan nodded as she looked to Ray. "Bag her," she commanded. She looked around to the rest of the ER staff in the room. "You, help Ray," she commanded the nurse who was standing next to the doctor. "And you, keep trying to reach the OR," she added to the nurse near the phone.

A third nurse remained by the door, petrified in fear. Fear that if she got closer to the body, she would mess something up and the patient would die. She was feeling wobbly near the knees and her upper body was shaking in fear.

Susan glanced around the room once more as she saw Ray grab the intubation tray. The nurse who was helping him held the tray as Ray grabbed the laryngoscope.

Susan looked over to the third nurse. "Ok, if you're not going to be of much help here, then get Sam in here because she will!"

The nurse nodded and rushed out the door in search of Sam.

Susan rolled her eyes in annoyance before redirecting her focus to Abby. By this point the bag was attached outside the mouth and Ray was pushing it to try and start Abby's breathing. He squeezed the bag once and then again. Nothing was happening.

"No," Carter yelled again. He was unprepared to loose Abby. He looked at her in fear and hope that she would start breathing. "Come on," he begged. "Fight this."

Ray squeezed once again, but that still produced no change. "I'm calling it," he began as he glanced up at the clock.

"No!" Carter yelled as he forced his way towards Abby's head. Quickly but carefully he removed the various intubation instruments away from her mouth. He titled her head back slightly, pinched her nose, and gave five huge breaths into her mouth.

Sam opened the door and walked in, shocked at what was going on. She knew there had to be a good reason the other nurse did not want to work on this particular patient. This reason though was not what Sam was expecting. "What--" she whispered in shock as she slowly moved closer towards everyone.

Carter had finished the compressions and was now back to giving mouth-to-mouth.

"John," Susan began sorrowfully.

"No!" Carter yelled. "She's not gone! I can't accept that! I need her!" he yelled as he once again began the heart compressions. He pushed down five times then went back to the mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. He was started to get tired, but he would not give up on her for the world.

He was about to start the compressions again, but Sam beat him to it. Her hands were clenched together the way they should be and she quickly started the heart compressions for him. "One, two…" she began counting.

"I admire this," Susan started again. "But it's near hopeless."

"But it's Abby," Carter argued. "This isn't just some random patient. It's Abby," he pointed out before breathing into Abby's mouth.

"But there's almost no hope that--"

"She's alive," Ray interrupted Susan. Sure enough, the heart monitor was back to making its annoying beeping sounds every second. That sound, although annoying, was the one thing Carter needed to hear.

"We did it!" he exclaimed happily as she turned next to him and pulled Sam into a rejoicing hug. "Thank you," he said before letting her go.

Sam nodded. "Of course," she said.

"Dr. Lewis?" the nurse on the phone asked. "Do we still need the OR?"

"Yes," Susan answered. "Tell them we're bringing her up right now."

The nurse nodded and passed the information on to whoever in the OR had picked up the phone.

Susan and Sam carefully transported Abby back to the gurney. "Sam, get her up there," Susan commanded. "The rest of you, disperse. Start working on more patients."

"I don't think I like this," Carter commented as he walked over towards Abby. Sam had already begun wheeling her towards the elevator. "Samantha," he called to get the nurse's attention.

"Yes?" Sam asked as she pushed the up button on the elevator.

"I'll take it from here," Carter said as he grabbed the side of the gurney. "Tell Susan I'm taking the rest of the day off. She can get mad all she wants, but I'm not going to be able to concentrate until I know Abby's ok."

"Ok, I will," Sam said as she started walking down the hall to find Susan.

Carter called out his thanks as the nurse walked away. By that point the elevator was open and he quickly wheeled Abby into it. He fit the appropriate floor then the 'door close' button. As soon as he got to the correct floor, he handed Abby over to the expectant care of Elizabeth Corday. "Take good care of her," he commanded.

"Of course," Elizabeth promised as she took the gurney.

Carter watched fearfully as the two women disappeared into one of the rooms.


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

The wait was driving Carter insane. He had medical experience, surgical experience even, but there he was sitting in the OR waiting room like any other patient's family. Susan would come up from time to time to see if there was any news regarding Abby's condition. With each time, there was still nothing. One of Elizabeth's interns had stepped out once to tell Carter that Abby's condition was no longer critical, but it also was not something to treat lightly. That was hours ago.

Surgeons came and went from that room. Through the duration, Elizabeth remained in there, but she was the only one who had been there the whole time. At some point Dubenko scrubbed in to the room. His concern was near the level of Carter's, and a small part of Carter's mind worried about that fact. He had broken up with Abby over a year ago, but he still cared deeply for her. She was still one of the most amazing people he ever knew and the woman he truly loved. He had to make sure Abby knew that, for if she did not then it would be the perfect opportunity for Dubenko to sweep her off her feet. That could not happen.

"Anything?" Susan asked again as she entered the room. By that point, Abby had been in surgery for over six hours.

Carter shook his head sadly. "Nothing. Dubenko's in there now."

"Instead of Elizabeth?" Susan asked in mild confusion. "Her name's still on the board."

Carter shook his head again. "He scrubbed in," he informed Susan. "I think he likes her."

"Who, Elizabeth?" Susan asked.

"No, Abby," Carter responded. "Just something about how he's acting. It's annoying."

Susan smiled slightly at Carter. "Tell her," she told Carter. "Abby, not Elizabeth. I see the way she looks at you. You could make it work again."

"Are you just telling me what I want to hear?" Carter asked. "I'm not taking that. Not from Elizabeth, and not from you."

"I know you won't, Carter," Susan informed him. "That's why I'm telling you as it is." She glanced down at her watch. "I have to leave. My shift ended an hour ago. Chuck'll be worried." She rose from her seat next to Carter. "Promise to call when she's out of surgery?" she asked.

Carter nodded. "Promise," he affirmed. He watched as Susan retreated down the halls towards the elevator. He then went back to his system of staring through the windows waiting impatiently for Abby to be done. He fidgeted with his hands nervously in hopes that doing such would calm himself, but it was proving unsuccessful.

"You ok?" the female from the other patient's family asked. She was a young girl. Carter placed her age at early twenties. Obviously she had came as soon as she had gotten the word of whoever it was she knew was in surgery, for she was only dressed in sweat pants and sneakers.

Carter shrugged. "Not sure yet."

"Same here, I guess," the young woman responded. "It's my mom," she said softly. "She broke her hip. The doctors here say it's not serious, but I'm not sure."

Carter turned slightly so that he was facing her. "How old is she?" he asked.

"Seventy-one," the young woman answered honestly.

Carter nodded. "It shouldn't be that serious," he said in a comforting tone of voice. "It's not something to be taken lightly like a paper cut, but it's not life-threatening. Not right now."

"Are you a doctor?" the woman asked.

Carter nodded. "Yes. John Carter," he introduced.

"Hope McLarson," the woman said back as she shook Carter's right hand. "Who are you waiting for?"

"My girAbby," he said. "My Abby," he stated softly.

"Girlfriend?" Hope asked curiously.

"Ex, technically," Carter answered.

Hope nodded understandingly. "Let me guess. She dumped you, and now you want to try and convince her that you're a different person, and she should take you back."

Carter shook his head. "Not entirely. I was the one who decided to break it off."

"Over a phone message?" Hope questioned with a raised eyebrow.

Carter shook his head once more. "In a letter I sent to her through a co-worker who happened to be her ex," he answered honestly.

"At least it's better than a post-it note on the fridge," Hope muttered.

Carter nodded again, not really listening to her anymore. The surgeons in Abby's room were no longer frantically working. They were hardly moving anymore at all, Carter noted. His mind immediately jumped to the worst possible conclusion. He drew his breath in as he saw Elizabeth move away from Abby, removing her latex gloves as she did such.

This cannot be happening, Carter told himself. He had been told that Abby was going to live. _No longer critical._ The words still echoed through his mind. He had not imagined them. They clearly came from Elizabeth's intern who had orders from Elizabeth herself to tell him. There was no way that would be a lie. He could not accept that.

"Oh god," he whispered to himself as he saw the other surgeons taking off their gloves and coats.

The look present on Elizabeth's face as she exited the room frightened Carter more than when Abby had initially been brought in. She was not beaming with joy, Carter noted, but on the other hand she was not near tears. She did not seem to have that look she gets when she has to tell the family that despite all their efforts, the patient could not be saved.

"What happened?" Carter asked as he rose from his seat. "Is she" The tears were welling up in his eyes. He had not even heard the news yet, but he could not take the suspense. He automatically prepared himself for the worst possible news-that Abby was dead. "Is she" he started again.

The words would not form in his mouth. He was not ready to loose her yet. In all his years, he had never met someone so amazing and unique as Abby had been. He could not loose her.

Elizabeth shook her head. "She's not dead," she assured Carter.

"Dammit!" Carter yelled, having not clearly heard the surgeon's words. "How did it happen? Was she in any pain?" he immediately asked.

"Carter!" Elizabeth yelled to cut off his unnecessary questioning. "I don't think you heard me. Abby's **not** dead. She's **alive**," she stated again, a bit slower this time.

"She's-she's not?" Carter asked in apparent disbelief. "She's alive?"

A small smile crossed Elizabeth's lips as she nodded for confirmation. "She's alive," she assured Carter.

"Can I see her?" Carter asked as he glanced into the surgery room.

Elizabeth nodded slowly. "I suppose you can," she told Carter. "But she's not conscious," she added.

"How long?" Carter asked.

"Until she regains consciousness?" Elizabeth asked.

Carter nodded solemnly.

Elizabeth paused for a second as she thought of Abby's injuries and the work that had been done on her. "It's really unable to predict," she answered honestly. "Could be a matter of a few hours or up to days."

"But I can see her?" Carter asked again.

Elizabeth nodded. "Right this way," she promised as she took Carter by the hand and led him into the surgery room. She then motioned for the remaining surgeons to leave so Carter could have privacy with Abby. Once they had all left the room, Elizabeth followed, closing the door behind her.

Carter mouthed 'Thank you' to her before taking in another deep breath and walking over towards Abby. She looked so peaceful lying on that table. Her eyes were gently closed and her hands rested over her stomach. In spite of her wounds, Carter had never seen her look more beautiful. "Hey there," he whispered as he walked up and took her uninjured left hand in his. "It's all over," he whispered. "Everything's going to be fine."


	5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Weeks had passed since Abby's accident. Since her accident, Carter was only taking the "easy" cases when he came to the hospital to work. Most of the time he waited in Abby's room. Her heart monitor always beeped constantly to let him know how she was doing. Carter needed that.

He placed a bouquet of flowers on the table next to her bed. To his disappointment, he found another one right next to his. He frowned as he wondered if he had been the one to put it there. He had been sleep deprived for the past two weeks now. He knew he wanted to leave her flowers.

Carter frowned. The only way he could be sure who left the flowers was to check if there was a card. Luckily for him, there was. He picked it up carefully. The outside said "Abby" in a small, blue, cursive handwriting Carter did not recognize. He had not sent the flowers.

Carter groaned as he opened the card and read it. "Get well soon. Love, Dubenko." It was plain and simple. Abby might just see it as a friendly gesture from a co-worker, but she might also see that about his flowers. He could not deal with that. Besides, he knew Dubenko's feelings for her. He was going insane in surgery according to Elizabeth.

"Anything?" Susan asked as she approached from behind Carter. In her hands, she had a small envelope with Abby's name on it.

Carter shook his head sadly. "She's still in a coma," he said sadly. "I'm just dropping off some flowers," he said as he sat down in the chair next to Abby's bed.

"We're too cheap to get flowers," Susan noted with a small frown. Abby was her best friend. Why didn't she think to get flowers? She sighed heavily as she decided she would get some on her way home and bring them back the next day. It was not as if Abby would wake up to notice. She wanted to believe that her friend would wake up, but so far she showed no signs of it.

Carter smiled slightly. "Give me ten bucks, and we can say mine are from the two of us," he said as he gestured down at his large bouquet.

"You serious?" Susan asked.

Carter shook his head. "You don't have to pay me. You have the baby, and I have more than enough money to cover the cost of these," he said. "But sure. Stick your card next to mine, and if she wakes up, I'll tell her they're from both of us."

Susan smiled. "Thanks, Carter," she said. She glanced over at Abby. "Not to be negative, but do you really think she's going to wake up today?" she asked seriously.

Carter shrugged as he took Abby's left hand in his. "I hope so," he said. "I need her to. She's everything to me." He took his eyes away from Susan and focused solely on Abby. "You hear that, Abby? You're everything to me. I haven't been my best knowing that you're like this. You have to wake up for the good of everyone in Chicago."

"Don't put so much pressure on her," Susan warned. "Go back to the love stuff," she instructed.

Carter turned around. His lips were pursed as he finally looked back at Susan. "I don't need your help, Dr. Lewis." At that instant, Susan's pager began beeping. "I believe someone downstairs does."

Susan rolled her eyes, but said nothing. She looked at Abby for another second then rushed over to the elevator.

"Come on, Abs," Carter coaxed as he turned his attention back to Abby. "You don't really have a choice here. I don't know what I'd be without you. I need you. Did you hear me? I need you, Abby. I love you." Carter sighed. There was still no change. He sighed heavily as he carefully leaned over her and kissed her forehead. "I'll be back tomorrow," he told her.

Carter walked out of the room without turning back. He passed the on call nurse and kept walking down the hall. He did not know where to go. He stopped suddenly as he heard footsteps rushing around behind him. He turned around and saw that people were heading into Abby's room. He quickly hurried behind the doctor and two nurses. "What's going on?" he asked.

"She's awake," the on call nurse answered simply.


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

"She's awake."

Those were the two words Carter has been waiting a month and a half to hear. Abby was awake. His angel was alive. He had always known that she would wake up, but he never thought that it would be this soon. He wanted it to be, but he could never be certain.

As soon as those words passed over the nurse's lips, Carter sped down the hall towards her room. He had to see her. He had been waiting too long for this moment. No one else deserved to see her more than he did. He walked inside and looked down at her.

She was awake, but barely. Her eyes hinted that she was very tired and would most likely fall asleep very soon, but Carter did not care. The fact of the matter was that she was awake now. "Abby?" he asked gently as he walked over to her bed and sat down. "Do you know who I am?"

"Carter," Abby muttered in an almost inaudible tone. "I'm not stupid."

"I know," Carter said as he gazed into her eyes. "I know you're not."

"Carter," Abby said again. Her tone had not changed. A secondary part of Carter's mind wondered if she was too tired to talk louder, or if she could not talk any louder. He said nothing on the subject though. He wanted to know what she was going to ask him. "What happened to me? The last thing I remember was crossing the street to get some coffee. Then there was pain. A whole lot of pain."

"Are you in any pain right now?" Carter asked seriously. "I can prescribe something if you are."

Abby shook her head weakly. "I don't think so," she admitted. "Why?" she asked a moment later. "Carter, what happened to me? I'm not stupid. I know where I am. I'm somewhere at County."

Carter nodded solemnly. "That you are," he told her. "You're in recovery, Abby. You were in a car accident. I don't know exactly what happened there, but you ended up here. Oh, Abby, it was terrible. You scared me half to death. Your injuries, blood loss…"

He did not even know if he could make it through the story without welling up. He knew Abby was fine now. She was right in front of him, but the experience. It was perhaps the scariest thing that ever happened to him since he got shot.

"But you fixed me?" Abby questioned.

Carter nodded again as he took her uninjured hand in his. "Abby, there was a time in the ER shortly after you came in when your heart stopped beating. The monitor went flat for several minutes."

Abby was taken aback by that bit of information. Her mouth dropped open slightly in her shock. "How did I get back?" she asked finally. "Who?"

"Sam and I, mostly," Carter told her. "Someone else thought it was useless with all the blood loss, but I knew you. I wasn't going to give up on you that easily. We got you back shortly after and took you to Elizabeth."

"When?" Abby asked simply. Her voice was still soft, but Carter no longer cared.

"About a month and a half ago," he answered finally. "The worst month and a half of my life, by the way," he added. "Don't ever do that to me again, do you understand?"

"What are you saying?" Abby asked as she changed her position slightly so that she was facing Carter. At his silence she added, "Carter, do you still love me?"


	7. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

He shouldn't have left things like that. It was cruel. However, he did not know how to answer that question. Did he love Abby? Of course he did. He always had. Even when he was off with Kem, he knew their love was not real. It was not what he and Abby had shared.

Could he tell her that? She had been through a lot. From the accident to waking up in the hospital room, Abby had suffered a tremendous deal. He could not begin to think of what thoughts were racing through her head. He did not even want to think of how she would react to the internal changes in the hospital. Elizabeth, the woman who saved Abby's life, had been fired. She left the hospital about a week before Abby woke up. Susan was forced to hire another resident while Abby was in a coma. Personally, Carter hated the little bastard. This guy thought he was God's gift to medicine. He was too cocky. Carter hated him.

But back to Abby. How could he pretend that he had no feelings for her? She was everything to him. In those moments when she was flat-lined, he was scared. He had never been more afraid of anything in his entire life. She was in his thoughts every day.

Did he want to go down that path again? Sure, it would be wonderful to be dating Abby again. He wanted it so much. But was it really the best thing for them? They had tried dating before, and it did not work out. Many factors led to their break-up, and he had no way of guaranteeing that those – or different- factors would not be back.

However, the fact of the matter was this: He loved her. He had to let her know that. What she did with that information was completely up to her, but he had to let her know how he felt.

He walked back to Abby's recovery room. He had a small stuffed teddy bear from the gift shop in one hand. It was plain brown and not that large, but he knew Abby would like it. He knocked on her door lightly. "It's me," he called through the door. "Can I come in?"

He heard the muffled sound of what seemed to be "yes", so he took that as an invitation to enter. He handed the bear to her, and she accepted it with a smile.

"Abby, I've got to be clear," he told her as he sat down next to her bed. "I've been thinking about this, so I'm just going to come out and say it. Yes. Yes, I'm in love with you. I think about you all the time. I blame myself every day for letting you get away. I can't stop thinking about you. Believe me, I tried, but I just love you too damn much." He leaned forward and placed a kiss onto her hand. "I thought you should know."


End file.
